Addressing past failures

A question raised during my telephone interview with Kevin Eikenberry (link coming soon) was "how do we address our past failures?" That's set me thinking...

You get what you focus on. So one quick answer would be - DON'T!! If you spend too long addressing your past failures your brain will be focusing on picking out similar situations and might just encourage you to repeat the failure instead of learn from it.

Alternatively you can take a peek at the failure to understand why you brand it as such. Ask yourself "what have I/could I learn from this situation?"; "what opportunities have arisen as a result?"; "what change of direction did I take, and how have I benefited from this?"

Once you have brought out the learning, reframe your "failure" label and replace it with a "lesson" label.

Then decide to focus on what you can do, what successes you have had and how you would like those to be manifested in your future.

Happy reframing.

Confident in Love?

This is a departure from my usual business discussions, but many people have asked for a few tips on Confidence in time for Valentine's day...

1. Be yourself
Easy to say, yet when you are with someone you really like and want to impress it's easy to adopt a different style. Now, that doesn't mean you show off all your habits (picking your nose is something you can keep to your self at all times), but it does mean not moving from your core values, staying true to yourself and what you believe in. If the other person likes that, great! If not, sorry, but they weren't right for you.

2. Let the man make the first move ?
A controversial one here. Should you ask someone else out on a date? Well, I've heard many different versions - and the answer is... it all depends. On you, and on the other person. If they say yes, and you get on, great! If it's a no, well a little hurt pride perhaps, but nothing truly lost as you are in th same situation before you asked the question only this time armed iwth a bit more knowledge.

3. Popping the Question
It's a personal thing - but please don't go down on one knee with a red rose in your mouth at an expensive restaurant just because that's the way your best mate made his proposal, or because you think you should. If you partner loves you, they will say yes regardless of how you propose.